Know Ya Flow
Women in flow, share what they know. Hear women's stories of how they've grown, what they know, and how they are living in flow.
Know Ya Flow
My Experience of Pregnancy w/Lauren and Hannah
I am pregnant!! On this episode I bring on my bff Hannah to talk about my pregnancy experience so far.
As I'm posting this, I'm 37 weeks pregnant, so I believe this will be a good place to pause the podcast for a bit as I transform and embark on this new journey of motherhood.
In this episode we chat about my experience, my mindset, my beliefs, what I've learned, *how I've been feeeeeling*, and more!
I hope you enjoy this episode and some of our perspectives.
Follow your path and trust yourself - there's no single right way to approach pregnancy and birth. The most important thing is connecting with what feels true for you.
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Welcome to Know your Flow podcast, where women in flow share what they know. I'm your host, lauren Barton. Join me as we talk to women and hear their stories on what they know, how they've grown and living in flow. Okay, here we are. Hannah and lauren back again, episode well, actually, technically well three. Yeah, I was gonna do a solo podcast of pregnancy chat. Um, I feel like I should have an episode about being pregnant and that whole thing. But I did a solo one and then I was like I don't know, seemed kind of weird.
Speaker 2:So here I am so hannah's here to help the person that doesn't know anything about pregnancy.
Speaker 1:Really, it's here to talk about pregnancy it's here to be a friend and ask some questions and some thoughts. So, yeah, how do you feel like I've been overall?
Speaker 2:oh, jumping right in. It's funny, I mean, I feel like your energy is more calm than I thought it was gonna be, not that I like I was like oh god, she's gonna be a nightmare or whatever, but I feel like you just seem more centered, mellow than before maybe, yeah, like before. I feel like maybe it's just because you're tired, I don't know, but yeah, things were just constantly going in your brain a lot like you had a lot of thoughts, ideas, not that you don't know but I feel like it's different?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know. I would agree. Yeah, more calm and chill. Yeah, it's interesting.
Speaker 1:It is interesting, isn't it? And I don't. I guess everyone's different. I feel like some people would be more anxious. Yeah, like I don't get like any anxious vibes from you at all Like I feel like I'm on anxiety meds or something. Yeah.
Speaker 2:It's so weird, like I just feel like you don't get bothered by things as much, maybe like at work, maybe as much. Yeah, like people don't really annoy me, whereas you know, things would happen before where maybe there would be more of a reaction, and now it's just like, eh, I don't have energy for that, I don't care. Yeah, that is kind of how it feels, which I wonder how that will be, I don't know after, like if it's hormonal, if it's what, like I don't know. I don't know either because, yeah, what are most people like when they're pregnant? I don't, I don't know.
Speaker 1:I don't know, because my one client, carly Carly, for listening out to you, she was like. She explained it the same way. She was like isn't it nice this sort of pregnancy, just like your hormones are just chill, so you're just like on like one level.
Speaker 2:There's no like, because what would you compare it to? And you're in like a normal cycle, like the feeling, or is it completely different?
Speaker 1:what stage of like I'd say, like follicular, just like forever. Oh, maybe it sounds pretty nice.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it is yeah, I think, because you don't get the drop of anger right before your period.
Speaker 1:Irritation no I do feel like maybe just because I'm and it could be placebo, but I do kind of think it's a thing I do feel like around the new moon I feel a little bit more. I don't have energy, like I'm just gonna chill. I'm definitely not.
Speaker 2:But it's not the same as that like ragey feeling there.
Speaker 1:No, there's no ragey Of like sometime before your period or whatever.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's no ragey, because I've always thought it would be really nice to be pregnant, because then I wouldn't have to deal with the flow of the cycle, like you were saying at the moon gathering. Like I've literally told Colton before, I can't wait to be pregnant one day and not have to be pissed off for a week, not that you have to be pissed off for a week, but it's like I do everything to not be and it's still like a struggle.
Speaker 1:Yeah, always I'm like, wow, that would be nice yeah, no, it is, there's other things that go with it. But yeah, I know, but I don't know, and yeah, I don't know if it's just a transition into new state of being, I don't know if the baby's gonna be really chill. So then that's why, like, I don't know if I'm like getting his chillness, yeah, maybe. I don't know. Yeah, I have no idea. That'll be interesting, though, to see.
Speaker 2:Then, if, yeah, postpartum, if I like lose my shit I wonder if you feel different immediately after, like I don't know. That's what my sister said. She was like she felt better second, the placenta came out. I was, thank god, like I Like, I feel like back to myself. She's like I didn't even remember what I felt like before and then it just came back and it was the best.
Speaker 1:Dude, that's crazy, cause she was anxious and then went to non-anxious not to speak on her or no.
Speaker 2:I don't know if she was anxious, I think I'm not sure if during her pregnancy she was. I think she was kind of more just kind of depressed and like down and yeah, I guess anxious too, and then after she was just like it all went away immediately yeah which I guess. Yeah, I know, obviously it's not everyone's experience, but it sounds pretty nice too.
Speaker 1:No, it is crazy. But yeah, I feel like mine is like I don't have the energy, like if you're gonna stress me out or if this is gonna be a no, like I cannot give you this attention.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you don't feel that, maybe guilt like you would have in the past about it.
Speaker 1:You're just non-negotiable kind of, I don't yeah, whereas before maybe you would be like, oh, I should probably do this, or whatever yeah, probably, and then you know it's funny I was thinking today about because I'm at like 30 weeks now. So it's like you're starting to. I'm starting to get kind of like man, this is for real. This like little thing is gonna be like pooping and crying around, and I hate loud noises and I, if my cat meows too much, I'm like always, yeah, yeah, and I'm like a pretty messy person and so, oh my gosh, this is, you know, starting to really like kind of visualize the.
Speaker 1:But what does being messy have to do with it? Diapers laying around, like not really, but having to clean this thing up when, like, I don't even want to clean up anything, yeah, messes, yeah. And I think with, like Billy and I's relationship dynamic, I'm kind of nervous about that because I know how messy I am and I don't want him to just be like cleaning up my mess. When people talk about their husbands being a certain way and like why don't they ever? They don't do anything right, like that's like me.
Speaker 1:I mean it's fine, but yeah, that's kind of annoying the mess and clutter the new.
Speaker 2:A bunch of shit everywhere the noise thing is something, but you never know like I don't know I visited mason. I like never heard him cry for a week, I know, and then it's just like cute crying. Yeah, I mean not if they're screaming their head off, unwell, but I've, I don't know, I don't feel like you're gonna have like a colicky baby. Yeah, I hope not. I mean I just don't. I know, I mean if he is whatever, but I just I don't know, I just feel like he's gonna be cool?
Speaker 1:I don't know he might not be. I mean, yeah, I was colicky, did you know really yeah, I had colic and my parents were like 40 and my poor sister was like 15. And here's this like annoying. Did any of kara's kids have it? No, and, but I was on formula yeah, I was gonna say yeah did your mom have a c-section?
Speaker 1:no, and they would just like my sister said they would like put me on a pillow and hold me on the pillow and walk around with me while I was screaming literally a nightmare, yeah, that is a nightmare yeah, and looking back, it's digestive stuff. But you know, honestly, I think too, I'm like, I think I was probably pissed that I was here on earth because is it, is it colic is like from digestion generally?
Speaker 1:yeah, I'm pretty sure like that's like formula for babies? Yeah, because you have an upset so you can't really digest and so you're just uncomfortable, yeah, but you know my woo-woo self.
Speaker 1:I'm like, no, I was just pissed. I wanted to be back in the ether and I'm here floating around lakeside drive in city. That is so funny, but, oh my god, yeah, but yeah, but anyway. So I was thinking about what are my days gonna look like and like what is, like, the difference going to be. It'll be great because it'll be spring and summer, which will be good. And but then I was thinking about I'm like, because I take a lot of naps now, because I feel like I'm almost like saving them up, like I'm like, oh, I'm not gonna be able to lay in my bed whenever I want in school like whatever yeah.
Speaker 1:But like whatever, yeah, but then I was thinking about like what I was doing in my life before and really not doing anything that novelty. I feel like I was creating things to do.
Speaker 2:I was going to say I feel like you will be more efficient with your time, which might be satisfying, I know Cause I kind of felt like that even when Reggie. When we got Reggie, I have to live my life in like hour increments. I mean obviously a puppy's different, because it's only like three or four months of that, but all summer and fall I was like, okay, when he's in his crate is the only time I can do anything. Yeah, but it was nice because I was like, okay, you have to get this shit done and then you get it done and it's like satisfying. And then he would wake up and be like, oh my god, I got so much done or I took a nap, yeah, in that hour. Whatever, I wonder if you will feel, if that will feel good, because sometimes it's just like what am I doing?
Speaker 1:Yeah, what am I doing?
Speaker 2:Existing, Like. I'm just literally, like you said, coming up with things to do all day. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Cause obviously I don't want to work my whole life.
Speaker 2:I think that's you know I don't want to just like be at work, you know.
Speaker 1:And so then you have. You're like yay, I have three days off and the days off come. And then it's like you wait, I would like wake up and be like well, what am I going to fill my day with today? No, I know, it's like purposeful.
Speaker 2:That feeling annoys me actually a lot now.
Speaker 2:When I was younger it was fine, but now I'm just this, is it? I'm just going to come up with shit for me myself to do all day. Yeah Well, that's horrible. I know what is the point. It's annoying, but then it's like I don't want to do the things that I necessarily have to do, which is like go to the grocery store and plan the meal. I feel like it would be nice to will be satisfying, to not have every thing. Just be about you, what you want to do all the time. I do too. I mean, we'll see, but like when, there'll be moments I'm sure you're like oh god, but I don't know. I feel like overall it sounds kind of nice, like kind of fun.
Speaker 1:I mean we'll see cute, yeah, okay. So now, instead of just like going on a walk with the dogs you know you get to go to walk with a baby I don't know or like not just that all life is all walks, and like being outside, like the idea of like, oh my god, there's all this stuff that I don't get to do anymore, or like losing all of these things about me I feel like are just sort of the mind and the ego, like yeah creating things yeah like, obviously, yes, I can't take a nap and move in all the day whenever I feel like it.
Speaker 1:But like, should I always be doing that anyways?
Speaker 2:also I mean don't baby sleep like all? Day, yeah, you still will be able to nap. Yeah, right now, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1:I won't have silence when I want somebody to stop talking to me, like once he starts talking.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, when he starts talking, yeah, I guess I'm thinking just of a baby, I'm not thinking of a toddler.
Speaker 1:Oh, but then it'll transition from having to come up with my own ideas of what I'm going to do for myself to like them To what he Like.
Speaker 2:what am I going to do for them? Yeah, what are we doing today? To burn your energy or whatever? What's our activities?
Speaker 1:Because I mean like right now I get massages and go get facials and go for walks and create business ideas. Yeah, I think it's okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you know it's like an hour or two of your time. Yeah, that is fun or whatever.
Speaker 1:And then. But this is going to be like it's all fun and cute and new.
Speaker 2:You like fun and new stuff, so there you go. I mean it's like the ultimate every day is something different and fun.
Speaker 1:Yeah, or or exhausting but still like it's like. It's like authentic living.
Speaker 2:Like, it's just like his life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what else you know I?
Speaker 2:just feel like the way that you view the, your life and the world and everything, I just feel, feel like I don't want to say it in like a gas lady way, but I just feel like you're not gonna like, you're not giving yourself enough credit on how you are going to adjust. I think, obviously, like there's like fears that are like real and rational, like, yeah, obviously, but I feel like you're not gonna get this idea. We have that. We hear people talk about stuff, but those people are so different than you are yeah, true, even before they had kids or whatever. True, just like the way you function generally. I just I don't know, I don't feel like it's going to be that.
Speaker 1:I don't know, like earth shattering, yeah, I just don't. I don't know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, thank, don't see you being oh my god, I want to die like I don't see that at all. Yeah.
Speaker 1:I don't know why. I think you know you're probably right too, though, because I do feel like I I do pretty well with challenge and stuff, yeah, and change and change like I don't really I'm not, like I just can't yeah, I'm giving up like, yeah, you know I don't, but almost detrimentally maybe sometimes, to where I'm like okay, I'm pushing through, okay, let's keep going.
Speaker 1:I got this, maybe when I don't, but other than feel like it would go that way, as opposed to giving up and wanting to die, yeah, but no, I appreciate to the point of like burnout, you mean yeah, or getting frustrated or whatever, but I also feel like I've learned a lot about how to communicate and feel my feelings, instead of just pushing through and ignoring and it's like too.
Speaker 2:Like, since we don't have kids, we've only ever experienced these relational things with our partners or like our friends or whatever. But it's different, I would imagine, when it's your literal child. Yeah, like it's probably maybe a little easier to not get as annoyed yeah, you're my kid.
Speaker 1:You're not like a grown man or whatever.
Speaker 2:Yeah exactly I don't know like the frustration part.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, obviously there's moments I'm sure, but like overall, when it's eloise, I could be like oh yeah, it's an animal, shut up. They don't even know what the hell you're saying, whereas they don't care.
Speaker 2:Um, I'm not gonna scream at my baby, yeah you know, yeah, you're gonna be like, look at this perfect angel.
Speaker 1:I mean I know, right, it's true so yeah, it's exciting and yeah, I feel like Billy will be chill too, so that'll be good, just very chill people does he want to talk about it all the time or no?
Speaker 2:like what is your dynamic since you've been pregnant compared to how it was before? Is it different at all? I?
Speaker 1:feel like it's different because I'm just like, oh no, like I actually like need you in a real way, like I need help. Yeah, you have a part in what's happening to me. Yeah, so there's that and also like a trust in the next step, type of a thing where it's like, okay, we're doing this, this is, and being able to like picture all of that, yeah, but he is a very in the present, when it's happening moment. Then he'll deal with it, but he doesn't want to talk about if I try to be like hey, look at this video of this baby like screaming or whatever, and I'll be like, isn't that?
Speaker 1:crazy he'll be like. Don't show me that. I don't need to see that that's not helpful to me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay you know, or like if I will be like oh my gosh, because when he is just random, if you wake him up, like if I sneeze or something, and he fell asleep, oh yeah, it's like really mean and like, but it's not real. He's like asleep, yeah, and so I was like trying to be like dude, you're gonna be so mean, and he's like don't say that you don't know that I'm gonna be exactly, um, but yeah, I feel like we're in like a little bubble of just okay, this is.
Speaker 1:I don't know what he would say, but yeah, I wish he was here. A third mic, it would be funny he'd be like, yeah, it's cool, it's whatever, but yeah, it'll be interesting. I think when you're gonna have your first, you do get kind of like nervous about like how the dynamics gonna go, because you're just I love this person so much and I don't want then this to ruin our relationship.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, because you don't know how it's gonna go and how each people, like each person's gonna that's true, deal with it that, and I feel when he gets stressed he sort of like disengages, but then when I get stressed I get kind of more micromanaging, and so that Me too.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I feel like that dynamic will be different, but also I don't know. I think it'll all be fine and I think our relationship is yeah.
Speaker 2:Like it would be hard when you've just been doing. You could have possibly ever to your relationship and I don't know how much.
Speaker 1:I don't know the balance between how much you should be like talking about everything and also just letting things happen, because you could just talk about it all day, all the time and we do talk about it a lot before we go to bed.
Speaker 1:I feel like yeah I'll say a bunch of stuff, or I'll be like oh my god look at my belly, do this or like that sort of thing, because, yeah, you could talk about it 24, seven or two future plan when I started thinking too far in the future about random shit. It's like too much, it's like very. I don't know I could see that Very overwhelming, so you kind of have to, I feel like, have the balance of just staying into whatever's happening, but also a little bit but I guess that's everything in life.
Speaker 2:I mean, really that's kind of what anxiety is Exactly. It's not being present, which is obviously easier said than done, but I do feel like also from yoga we have tools that a lot of people don't have, and that's kind of what I mean when I'm like I just feel like you have all these tools that the general public in America doesn't have from all the work that you've done yeah that you're so aware of yourself that I think it's gonna make it easier in a way.
Speaker 2:I think so too. I hope so, like not, and I'm not just saying that to like make you feel better about the whole thing, I'm just like genuinely mean that yeah, I mean, I appreciate that and I think so too, I mean so.
Speaker 1:Developing patience and being able to sit in silence and sit with yourself, or sit with uncomfortable Like if you know baby's like screaming. Okay, can you just focus on your breath and like chill for a minute. Or you know knowing how to feel your feelings and ask for help, like all of those types of things that some people.
Speaker 2:Do you think that asking for help is going to be hard?
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think so. You think that asking for help is going to be hard? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think so.
Speaker 2:From Billy or from family friends circle, because you are very independent.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I feel like Generally, I don't know. I feel like yes and no, I feel like I'll try to gaslight myself and no, you actually don't. Don't call that person, it's fine. But I also think that I'll be like relying on my sister a lot for all kinds of random, small little things.
Speaker 2:Cause she's going to be off work the whole time. Yeah, which is very nice.
Speaker 1:And she is like the OG of having kids and doing all the things. So cause. It's just crazy, though, when you think about it, like there's so many like little things that you really don't know Like what. Truly, this is so dumb and basic. But I haven't changed a diaper and this little I mean obviously you're gonna like know and you're gonna learn, but you're just like.
Speaker 1:I've never had to breastfeed ever so like that's gonna be interesting all these little things, or how to like, swaddle or like, if you, if you want their little arms up, or put them in all this like random ass.
Speaker 2:The breastfeeding thing is always what's sounded me too horrible to me, I know because the birth is it'll be over. It's one day, yeah, and it'll be over, good and fine it's not yeah yeah no more than two.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no more than two. But the breastfeeding thing and having this person attached to you all the time and nipple bleeding and like yeah, genuinely is just like no way to.
Speaker 2:I mean with any of there's no way to know, but like with that, people either love it or they fucking hate it. I know I feel like it's very polarized I agree, they really do.
Speaker 1:But I guess it was everything. Yeah, it's so weird, there's so much that you don't know. I almost feel like having a having your second kid would almost be worse, because you like kind of know, you know what you're in for, especially with birth and stuff, because like right now I'm just like I don't know yeah, we're gonna, he'll come out, that's all. But I can't tell you, oh, this is how it's gonna feel, or this was gonna be like, or even the postpartum, after wearing diapers feeling like all that shit. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So I'm just like I don't know yeah, because with birth do you have any? You don't really have any fear around that necessarily. It's more, if you had any place to put fear, it would be like more postpartum yeah stuff, yeah, not, not related but again, I could have a glass half full type thing too.
Speaker 1:pregnancy and birth have never really made me feel any type of way. I'm just like, like pregnancy it's been easy, I'm just chilling. You know, I'm normal. Whatever Birth, I feel like we'll be fine, whatever. But postpartum I feel like oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:And the postpartum part too. It's not as glamorous. It's not baby's growing I'm pregnant. Everyone's giving me praise attention Like it's not baby's growing I'm pregnant. Everyone's giving me praise attention like it's not that, not that's like what you want but I don't know, it is just the birth is like an experience.
Speaker 1:It's like you're in this portal and like yeah and it's like trippy almost, and like you're doing this crazy thing with your partner who don't know us.
Speaker 2:We're probably listening to this. Like what the fuck are they talking about? Birth is a portal. It's trippy. Like I'm just like imagining like someone, like some people I know, listening to this. Just like what this is like? So not like the typical way to talk, like talk about it, it's hilarious because, yeah, like you're basically just on drugs, like you're you're just tripping yeah a day, and then you get a baby I mean in the spiritual midwifery book which is that what they say?
Speaker 1:they say well, I listened to it on audio so I can like hear the lady reading it. But she was like, yeah, because it's the spiritual midwifery book is just people telling their birth stories. Okay, they all lived on like ina may's, like farm in tennessee, oh, wow. So they'll be like. And then I was feeling real high, it'll say that a lot of times and the rushes were coming on real strong, like that's how they have it written. And they'll say like and I was looking at his, I was just listening to this and I was looking into his eyes and he was looking into mine and I felt like, yeah, this and they're always smooching, it's their partners, oh yeah, I watched the documentary they're making out. Oh, it's like their birth, it's their number one, like recommendation, it's what all of them are doing. In any of the stories there's a lot of like smooching going on. Wow, and it made the rushes come on stronger is what they will say the rush, the rushes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they call them the rushes and yeah, and they're always smooching and yeah, so it is funny he's gonna be in his swim trunks smooching his rash guard no way, poor guy yeah, for real. Poor guy, oh my god. Yeah, he is not like these guys, he's not wanting the pda.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he is not these people in this book, so funny, um, but yeah, so, yeah, like the birth is like a whole, like experience. Yes, you know, it's like a whole, a whole thing. And I even thought about doula or no doula. I was like trying to think about. Okay, when I'm tripping on mushrooms, do I want somebody to talk to?
Speaker 2:or no and normally no I'm not trying to talk, yeah, no talking. I can't with the talking.
Speaker 1:I'm trying to just like chill, I want to be yeah in a cocoon, but again, who knows how it's all gonna go. But yeah, but then postpartum just sounds like okay, everybody leaves now, and you have this little creature and just me and yeah, which is cool for a little bit. Yeah, obviously, and I'm sure it's cool the whole time. But I'm saying like the reality of like okay, three weeks go by, yeah and you're like oh wow, this is still going on.
Speaker 1:I just don't know, and I think too. Okay, here's another thing about it. Is that like I can control me, like I know, like what I like? Yeah, I am, but I don't know what this little thing is gonna be like, yeah, and I think that's like a. Is that like I can control me, like I know? Like what I like, and who I am, but I don't know what this little thing is gonna be like or want. And I think that's like more intimidating than the other stuff because that makes sense.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because, yeah, when you're pregnant and birth, yeah, it is like it's you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're the focus, yeah, then afterwards it's like, okay, how is this? What's the vibe gonna be? Because you have no idea, which is also crazy.
Speaker 2:It really is no idea what this little person is gonna be like yeah, it'll be interesting to see his personality versus, like what you kind of feel like it's gonna be like if it's the same.
Speaker 1:I know if it's different who knows, I don't know, because you had, like your sister's baby who was like perfect angel yeah, I guess. I mean, I feel like I've only her situation's so interesting I know she was third miked I know seriously because it would be like no baby, baby inside, baby outside yeah, I know, I wonder how much effect the mom's personality is on it.
Speaker 2:How much of it is there just like what they are going to be. It's just interesting all the factors that could go into it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like, and what actually like, I don't know I know it is really interesting because, I mean, I do think that is a thing for sure. I think that that's why people will do, you know, home births or choose their birth to be peaceful, or choose their birth to be peaceful, or choose their birth to be a certain vibe. Yeah, because if it's, I think, chaotic or traumatic or not necessarily whatever, I think that it definitely, like that, has an impact for sure. On how the baby's feeling?
Speaker 2:Because if you just get like, or how you are parenting the baby. Yes, probably a lot.
Speaker 1:But I also think that everybody is supposed to have what they're supposed to have for their baby and for themselves and they're in both of their journeys is like they yeah move through life you know, but we can't control any of it, so you just have to be like, okay, whatever yeah with, because with the birth I wonder how it'll feel, because now you're what?
Speaker 2:30 weeks. I wonder if you you will feel the same as it gets closer, if you will start to feel you know people are always I'm so over this, like that feeling. I wonder if that will happen too, or if you will still feel like you're just like coasting to the end. I know it's so weird yeah I have no idea, because I feel like your pregnancy has just been yeah.
Speaker 1:So just like simple, like textbook, this is pretty perfect yeah, I know, I know isn't that crazy, but in theory it could all go downhill at the end. You have no idea. The last three weeks you could get like fucked. Yeah, boy could be like okay, I'm gonna be breached now. Oh god, yeah, I know, you know. Or like, okay, now this is gonna happen. I don't know. And then, yeah, this will be interesting when we talk afterwards I'm like how it all went down yeah, oh yeah, but I don't know.
Speaker 1:I mean, I think that you just have to like live life, and I sound like courtney kardashian. You just have to like live life, you're just living. You're just living with my husband, travis, it's so funny how smart and cool she thinks he is on that last episode where she got him like that. She like got his car released early and then it broke down on the side of the highway.
Speaker 2:It broke down, but there was no actual footage of it breaking down. All there was was a sound effect and him going babe, oh no, and then it just cuts to them at the restaurant. So I'm like and then also how none of their kids came and I feel like that dinner they all like. Do these people even know each other? It was so weird, it was so awkward. Do you think they even like each other? I don't know.
Speaker 1:Are they just so, la? That's true Also. That would be so gross to go and eat at that place wherever that was, it all seemed weird.
Speaker 2:I hated the way it looked.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so weird, but yeah, I don't know. But yeah, I think that you just have to, like you know, live your life and do what you can. But I also think that, like I was saying earlier, I just think that everybody has to do what they have to do for their own situation too.
Speaker 2:Do you feel like you always felt like that. Or now that you're pregnant, you're just like, oh no, it really. People really have to or do you? Think before you had like more polarizing ideas. Yeah of it all, yeah or no?
Speaker 1:yeah, I think that I did because I think that I had a very like. I think it's like anything when you get like excited about learning something new and you're like why doesn't everybody think about it like this? This? Is so crazy, that's awesome, whatever, and yoga maybe as an example, like you're like, oh my God, this form of movement is so amazing.
Speaker 1:I'm so obsessed with this and it like connects with your breath. And why do people go to the gym if they could go to yoga? Because everybody could use this Like this would help everyone, and you're just really like jazzed about learning about it and telling everyone or whatever.
Speaker 2:Yeah, even when you don't have the experience yet it seems so just like you don't see like the full picture of it, also when it's something new, yeah exactly, or even like I remember learning Enneagram stuff and being, you know, I've told everybody about it.
Speaker 1:I wanted everybody to know everybody's number, I wanted to, you know, categorize everyone, and I cause I was just excited and I think you just think like, oh, it's so cool, I love it, and yeah, I feel like that's how I was about period stuff and birth stuff, and but I guess that's how any like conviction of something begins. You have to get kind of oh, this is how I feel about like I feel, passionate about this and now I'm gonna dive into it, whatever but then I think once, you're like confident about it or you're just sort of okay.
Speaker 1:This is how I feel about it. I don't know. Maybe you lose a sense of needing everyone to feel the same. I don't know.
Speaker 2:I don't know what it is, because you confidence that you don't care really what other people are doing. Yeah, or thinking or whatever, because it doesn't affect you. Yeah, maybe.
Speaker 1:Maybe, but I guess if you're not confident in your own oh, this is my path and this is what's working then you want validation by everyone else being like that's what? Yeah, I agree with you. Yeah, like I agree.
Speaker 2:And I think we should be and like oh, whatever that is, you know, but because there was the whole, because I remember at one point you wanted to do, or before, like wait before you're pregnant. You were like you're talking about free birth a lot, yep, free birth well, and it's great.
Speaker 1:And I think that, though, too, was very helpful, because, I mean, even when I went to australia, there was the doula that like came in and she talked to all of us about being a doula, and so, basically, this doula gets with couples who want to free birth and her only job is like to support them, and then she takes.
Speaker 1:She was a photographer first, so she would take birthing photos of people, and then she was a doula, and so she'll like go in while you're birthing and just sort of be like support, but she's not like a midwife or whatever. And she like came in when I was in Australia and was talking about basically the whole point of her being there was to talk about how women can do this. She like very much believes so, like, for people that don't know what free birth is, this woman, in particular, very much believes that you don't need anything, okay, and can birth a baby okay. You don't need any testing, you don't need any blood work, you don't need any ultrasounds, you don't need to ever go to the doctor and you don't need any assistance at the birth other than your partner, correct?
Speaker 1:but you can have whoever you want. Okay, like, if you want to have, like a friend.
Speaker 2:You don't have to. No, you shouldn't feel like you have to. No, but they're not saying you can't Right Okay.
Speaker 1:But like you should. You in theory should. If you are a healthy, confident, I guess, self-trusting person, okay, then you should be able to just have your baby. Okay, on your own.
Speaker 2:Where does that come from on your own? Where does that come from? I don't know Like, because I'm thinking of culturally across other cultures, like that's never really how it's been, because it was all women together assisting. So I wonder where that? Is it like a new concept?
Speaker 1:I don't know, I'm sure somebody would be able to tell us, like, where that really went, because you know midwifery has been around forever.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so is that a result of how far we swung the other way, and now this is the other version we went. So medical, yeah this, or is this like a thing that has been practiced before for a long time?
Speaker 1:I don't know. I think it also stems from midwives becoming too medicalized and then they weren't sort of doing their job in the way they should have, because they were working in hospitals that then were limiting them to what they could do, or they were overstepping, because why do you?
Speaker 2:why, I wonder why, as a midwife, would you choose to work in a hospital?
Speaker 1:for money. I think it's the same as like commission salon versus independent stylist. You can just like business and do that whole thing, yeah but there's a lot less they can do or say or like. There's less like autonomy in that way, I think, and I think that you would have to be more. Again, I don't I'm not like the expert on any of this, but like, yeah, you would.
Speaker 1:If you're a midwife working in a hospital, you're gonna need to kind of do what the hospital wants yes you know parameters, whereas, like, if you have your own practice, then you can do whatever you kind of you can say what you want within the not getting sued part or whatever.
Speaker 2:Because, because to be a midwife do you have to have licensure like we do? There are certain things you have to do, but you don't have to listen to the hospital. It's more just like general I don't know, like guidelines, I guess.
Speaker 1:Okay, correct. For instance, if you this is what I would assume a big difference would be. Again, I don't know for sure, but I would say, like when you go to a midwife that's on her own, she's going to say the CDC recommends that you get this vaccine. You could do whatever you want, I don't care, okay. Whereas maybe if you went to a hospital and you went to a midwife practice, they would say you need to get this vaccine okay, yeah, or herbage is probably very different.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, or like we recommend that you like we. You need to do this because basically, the whole structure of, like, the care of midwifery in general is client-centered and informed consent. Okay, so basically, you are in control, we are not in control. You are, yeah, and so we are just here for you to make your decisions, do what you want. That's the whole thing of being a midwife. So what I would assume is that a lot of midwives were kind of getting out of that for whatever reason. I mean, it could have been attack from Western medicine, it could be things like that, yeah, and so then I think that they were just this group of people were like let's just start doing free birth.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I need you and I want. I'm also wonder how much of that is happening in america or is this more of an australian thing? I don't know because I see a lot of that in australia like online, yeah, but I don't, I can't even off the top of my head, really think of more than five people I've seen on the internet that would do in america that, or just I mean, I don't personally know anyone that's on that, but yeah, I can think of the girl from sedona has done it. She does it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, it's interesting though yeah, so basically my teacher, jemma, that did cyclical school, her best friend, amber, free, birthed her baby with this doula and then this doula.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and then this doula came into the retreat that I was on when I was like 10 weeks pregnant in australia and basically was saying this is the way to go. But she wasn't saying you have, you have to do it. It wasn't like that, but it was definitely. What's the problem? Yeah, because I would be like well, I remember the questions that I was asking at the time, but, like you said, like because, like nobody is doing that here the way that she was normalizing it.
Speaker 1:No, this is just like what you can do like oh, interesting yeah and there was like another girl um in circle and she had birthed her baby with this lady, michelle too, and free birthed and you know whatever. But yeah, so, yeah. So there was a time where I was like, oh, free birth would be cool, yeah, let's do it. And I was even like, do I have to? Because I do kind of think if I had another um, if and when I had another baby, like I don't know, it is just kind of like going to the midwives. In general, I go there and I'm like why am I here? This is so pointless, I don't need to be here. Yeah, ultrasounds too, I mean. I mean I'm paying like $700 just to see that there was a baby $700 for two of them, cause I got the one and then $700 just just to be like, yeah, he's there, it's a boy.
Speaker 2:Yeah and I know the ultrasound thing. It's like I feel like I would want to do the anatomy scan and that's it yeah, because. I just want to see that everything was Gucci, yeah, yeah. And then, other than that, it's like I mean whatever and I did, you know, and I did and and I don't regret doing it, but it was just like really cool.
Speaker 1:So it was like seven. I had to pay $300 for the first one. It is just funny, though, cause they'll be like you know, you have a low lying placenta and we didn't get the nasal bone and we didn't get this of the heart, and so we want you to come back, and so you know, the low lying placenta that was going to move, it did, yeah.
Speaker 2:The nasal bone. Get the pictures of it. Yeah, that doesn't mean that they didn't. He didn't have it. Yeah, you know, and I could see how people could free, especially if they're going monthly like, or whatever. You normally do it like a ob.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I could see how too much information then starts to, because this something's gonna come up, because yeah, something's gonna come up, because I'm like, oh well, you know what you, then you're googling. So what if my baby doesn't have a nasal bone? Okay, so then that could mean it could have like down syndrome but, if I never saw that, I would have never thought that, yeah in the first place. Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1:And so the other thing about like free birthing and doing it that way too, is that you're completely going off of your intuition and your own feeling okay, because basically, if something were wrong, the idea is that you would know okay, but if you're a person who's not connected to that anyway, there's no way that this would ever be good for you. Yeah, you know, but in theory you know, and even like the glucose test, would I do that again? Necessarily, I don't know. If all this goes well, and I think maybe that's the thing too is like, you know, if I have one good pregnancy and I feel good about it, yeah, and that sort of sets the stage.
Speaker 2:I mean, but I don't know because. Then I wonder yeah, it's so hard because I wonder what percent, like, what amount of stuff that happens, like complications happen, that would have gone undetected, like when stuff happens people. I'm thinking of my one client. It's just like random. I always like think about her. She was 20, I don't know, maybe like 27, 26, and she I don't know the technical, yeah, whole thing of it, but basically she had like a seizure in the middle and she had never had any, nothing totally, and she literally almost died and stuff like that. It's then would they say, and that's. I'm not talking about stuff that is caused by medical intervention right like that's.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're just like living just like random, like I wonder like what percent, how often does that stuff happen? And like a healthy adult. And then would they say, if that did happen during a free birth, would they say, that's just your path in life. And then is that kind of gaslighting or fucked up to say that right so I don't know because.
Speaker 1:Then the other, the opposite of that, just depends on how you look at it I guess yeah, yeah because then the opposite of that would be well, she wasn't free birthing, she was in a hospital so that's why they would say, that's why you had a seizure.
Speaker 2:No, no, no.
Speaker 1:They would say but see that you're good because you were in a hospital, so whatever you were supposed to have happen, like the way that it was supposed to, you had the support there for you. Yeah, so you were okay. It didn't happen at your house. Because then you're trying to play with like what ifs really? Because if you're but I do see what you're saying- though like, and then it's like is it irresponsible?
Speaker 2:then it's like the whole thing not if you, I don't know it's so hard, because I see both sides of it fully. Yeah, it's so interesting.
Speaker 1:I know it's funny, because their thing about what if my baby dies in the hot, like because that's I have like brochure not bought, but like signed up for the emails, like about it or whatever I know one of the main things was like what if my baby dies at my house? Yeah, and people will say they would feel more guilty about the like, the stigma of that happening to them at home versus in the hospital, because in theory, everybody, they could do everything they could in the hospital, whereas if you're at home you were quote, unquote, irresponsible. Okay, I don't know, but is that true or not?
Speaker 2:But I guess too, at the end of the day it's it's not like you don't have both, okay, I guess here's the thing, too, which I just realized like it's not. These people are saying our society should not have hospitals, or our society should only do free birth. We're in the 1400s again. They're saying if you feel called, yeah, to do so, do it like we support you, and this is like a thing that we too, or whatever.
Speaker 2:So I guess that's at the end of the day. It's not like they're going around saying that you, you know, are less than, or you're this or whatever. You are not in tune if you go to the hospital. They're not like saying that, correct. So I guess it's really just like whatever.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but they're not like saying that, correct, so I guess it's really just like whatever. Yeah, so it like circles all the way back to what you were saying in the beginning about how people just need to do whatever they need to do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, whatever they want and there's no. I mean that goes in all directions. But I think like, especially when it comes to birth, people really will get defensive either way or they'll put their stuff maybe not as much Like I don't really feel like I experienced that that much. You know of people being, but I don't know People will get really fired up about certain things and it's just like I mean, it's not your life, yeah, it's not your path, it's not your baby.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I guess the I do. You think that people get worked up about the free births and stuff because they think it's taking a step back, almost like because that's kind of a thing that I hear oh, we made all this quote-unquote progress, but really is it? Yes, some of it is, but some of it isn't. Yeah, the technology and stuff is cool, but the people practicing the stuff sometimes, I think, are not, yeah, the best.
Speaker 1:I think that if you really truly believe in a medicalized birth and in technology or where we whatever that we're at right now and you hear that somebody is having a free birth, then you can see that as being irresponsible, yeah and wrong. People feel threatened or that it's bad, the same way that people think that like abortions are bad.
Speaker 2:I feel like it's the same.
Speaker 1:Not that it's the same at all. It's the same kind of thinking, thinking where it's the same. Not that it's the same at all. It's the same kind of like thinking where it's like. I have this deep thing, yeah, because another thing too, though, about how babies have been born, the whole and whatever is that people were at the births with, the, so like, for instance, for me, I don't really know that I need like this ultrasound. I don't really care about this glucose test if I didn't have it before and if I don't feel any type of way, like in theory, I'm like can I just like start?
Speaker 1:going at 30 weeks, and then we go from there and I feel like that's probably how it was historically. We didn't have you know, you couldn't see the baby and you were fine and you trusted yourself. You couldn't, like, get these certain tests, but then you would start to know something was wrong and then you dealt with it. So it's the same kind of thing as feeling like you think too far in the future or you have too much information. Then you can get nervous, or anxious or whatever.
Speaker 1:Whereas like if you just deal with what's right in front of you, cause all we have is the present, really, anyway, you know then I think that maybe that could be helpful. But again, I also don't care. If somebody wants to get all the tests done, go to the doctor like that is literally their journey.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't because the I think, the worst thing with any of this if there was one thing that was like wrong with all of it and with anything, like with yoga, with anything it's telling someone to do something. That's basically. It's like exactly what you're saying telling someone to do something that doesn't feel true to them. That's when stuff gets fucked up. Agreed, and a lot of times both ways. You hear people say stuff I knew I didn't want x, y and z at the hospital, but I just did it. Then stuff goes wrong. Not saying it's their fault, it's the people's fault. That are you that you're trusting.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I just feel like if you are not connected, that's when shit is not good yeah not, I guess not saying that the outcome wouldn't be good, but just like you're not going to feel good about it yeah, because it's not what you wanted.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it's not like your truth and you maybe did it for outside sources or whatever.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and also just because maybe you didn't even think about it at all, which I feel like is a thing. Yeah, people are just like I don't know, I didn't care. Which is like whatever. Yeah, which is fine too. Which is also fine.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know. It's just interesting because it goes back to what I was saying about. I get it. When you start to hear about stuff and you feel passionate about a certain way of living or a certain you know philosophy or a certain system or whatever, you get really jazzed and maybe you think everybody needs to know about it or whatever. But then you're not doing anybody any good by going around telling people what they should be doing yeah, or I mean, if people want to know, they'll know and they'll find out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's just like such a waste of our time.
Speaker 2:I think it.
Speaker 2:I think it is hard with the internet sometimes thinking because it's easy to have a platform, whereas before it used to be like, oh, you have to maybe write a book, or you maybe have to be a professor, or you have to do something quote, unquote, real to have a voice, whereas now everyone can talk about everything. So it's like you think you learned something in it which is good and bad. You're like, oh, I have this platform. I might as well, I don't know, it's just more normalized to talk about stuff that maybe in the past you like wouldn't have. And then there's I see the pros and cons of sharing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I agree I think sharing is important, but then sometimes I think of things that I maybe share and I'm just like that's so stupid. Why was I talking about that? Yeah, Kind of.
Speaker 1:It is really interesting Cause it's like I think about, for instance, like yoga girl and like her podcast, yeah, okay, but most of the stuff from yoga girl, I'm actually gonna say something positive, okay. Um her, yeah, she annoys me.
Speaker 1:I don't even follow her now, whatever, but her free birth story, yeah, I thought was really cool oh yeah, interesting and I loved it but I think actually now I'm saying that that is where we actually connect is because if you're sharing from your own experience yes, and your own story, that's yours and you're not yelling at me about how I need to do x, y and z because of x, y and z, yeah, that's never gonna influence me you're not like preaching to me exactly.
Speaker 1:Yeah, just sharing your own story, great lovely but and I think it's confusing and it's a lot of noise and it's yeah, yeah. But all that to say, though, too, is that the free birth thing I think was very helpful for me to sort of like be in the know about, when I was in the know about it, and even, like when I went to Australia and I was, like you know, like 10 weeks pregnant or whatever, and I was in that sort of realm. I think it was cool, because it did normalize everything kind of like no, like you can do it, it's fine you don't need to worry about all this stuff.
Speaker 1:You can just be chill and, in theory, all this is going to work out. I think being exposed to that versus being exposed to fear based stuff was has definitely been like helpful to me. Even though I'm not necessarily choose that path, I I do think that that was a helpful and a unique thing to oh, that's a thing that people do.
Speaker 2:And to be able to see both sides of it and see like the full spectrum of options is really cool that we have that.
Speaker 2:And I think that, however your own, whatever stigmas and things that are surrounding you about birth and about pregnancy, and about kids and about all of that like influences, yeah, you whether you realize it or not, like subconsciously or consciously that is true because if your whole family was like blabbing at you to do a certain thing or whatever, like shaming that would be hard or like oh, that's gross, why would you do this?
Speaker 2:yeah, so whatever, and you didn't have like a sense of a full if you're really young or you just, or I guess any age, and you didn't have like a true sense of self before, because I feel like that's another thing, that we're lucky that we've had a lot of time, or not lucky, but it's cool that we have had a lot of time to like work on ourselves in like a real way, not just like a bullshit, like take a bath once a week, self-care way, like a real ass, like look at shit and yeah, and resolve it, yeah and not?
Speaker 2:yeah, I think that is probably makes it easier for us to see all of that too agreed, which is nice yeah, and we've had time to actually embody it and live it and let it sink in all that stuff. Because, yeah, if you had it like, how would you even know what you wanted? I don't with all of that kind of stuff. And you're pregnant and you're just like, ok, I'll just do whatever.
Speaker 1:I guess no exactly, and I think that's another really good example of you know, if your family was kind of shaming you for your choices. I think that's another reason why people really shout what they like and want from like the rooftops and really you know, kind of I don't want to say like buckle down, but like really are like this is what I'm about because their voice isn't respected, so they're like needing somebody to respect validation yeah to feel heard and stuff in what they believe in, because it is their truth yeah, and so then, if you have people that are, I think it's like, I just think it's interesting, these people that are like basically being like wrong and then you want to have your own opinion and be heard.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that is very true, but anyway, but yeah, I do, I think that I'm grateful that I've had the time to be centered and learn and do the work before.
Speaker 2:Yeah it is really cool, yeah, and thinking about, yeah, it's just it is kind of funny to think about, like what he's gonna think of you when he's a teenager and he's gonna be like all the weird shit that like we're doing or whatever. It's gonna be hilarious. I know Throughout his life he's gonna be like, damn, my mom's pretty interesting yeah.
Speaker 1:Or like so cringey, yeah, no, yeah, we're like so cringy, no, no, I don't know. But yeah, his parents are pretty cool.
Speaker 2:Yeah, his parents are interesting people.
Speaker 1:So we'll see. I mean, he chose us, so we'll see, there we go.
Speaker 2:He's going to be. Yeah, maybe crazier than both of you. Yeah, I know.
Speaker 1:Be hilarious. We'll see Excited.
Speaker 2:All right cool, I know, hilarious, we'll see excited. All right cool, it's funny. Anything else, no, I don't think so cool, if you have anything else. I wasn't really necessarily expecting to talk about free birth yeah, I wasn't either, but that's, I haven't thought about free birth, that whole thing in a long I've 2022, yeah, 2023, because it was probably after COVID and people didn't want to that was probably another thing, and people didn't want to go to hospitals and deal with all that true did it at home that is very true.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and and did it that way.
Speaker 2:It's very interesting and I I will be anxious to see if it pops off more I feel like every person I know that had a home birth or a birth center or a non-hospitalized birth was, like obsessed with it.
Speaker 1:With free birth.
Speaker 2:With or not with free birth.
Speaker 1:Oh, with their experience, yeah, of home birth and stuff.
Speaker 2:Even people I know who ended up having to get transferred for whatever reason still for their second, are like no, I'm gonna try it again.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like people love it. I've like literally never heard anyone that I know personally be like I'm not doing that again.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know there has to be some sort of magic that's occurring?
Speaker 2:I think so. I mean obviously.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think so too. It's pretty interesting, we'll see, yeah, no pressure. Yeah, but we'll see. But yeah, no, I think you're right about that, and um, all right, well, thanks, yep ttyl, of course bye, thank you you.