Know Ya Flow
Women in flow, share what they know. Hear women's stories of how they've grown, what they know, and how they are living in flow.
Know Ya Flow
The Power of Ownership
In this episode, we start with a little story telling. I talk about how I got into the menstrual cycle and wanting to learn everything I could about it. I feel like I needed to dive right in and talk about this passion, which brings me to the ownership piece. Owning what I'm into, owning what I'm about, and owning my role in this world, I believe is huge in order to keep moving forward. I tell a story about another time in my life when I needed to take ownership in order to move forward. Join me as we then talk more about my favorite aspects of the menstrual cycle, why it's important and how this work within ourselves can change us and the women around us for the better.
Welcome to Know your Flow podcast, where women in flow share what they know. I'm your host, lauren Barton. Join me as we talk to women and hear their stories on what they know, how they've grown of. Know your Flow podcast. It's with your girl, no, but yes, it is with me. Solo episode today. Yeah, it feels nerve-wracking to come in and record a solo podcast episode.
Speaker 1:I recently moved my studio, if you will, from a bedroom in my house, which was cozy and nice. I moved it from there into, kind of, our break room at Daydream. So where I work, the salon that I work but it's spacious, it's lovely, the view is gorgeous, much better than at my house, and we still have love sex. So overall, I like it better here, but I do miss Theo, my cat. I wish that he was here as I was about to do this solo episode. I'm like, ooh, I feel so lost without him. But as I say that, a Cardinal has just landed in front of me, so I'm I think I'm supported regardless. So, yeah, I just wanted to do a little episode about the menstrual cycle, if I could. I feel like I mean, we'll see how much we get into the actual, the menstrual cycle. If I could. I feel like I mean, we'll see how much we get into the actual, the menstrual cycle itself. But I just wanted to take a minute to kind of check in, say what's up from my point of view and also take ownership of some things. Sounds dramatic, you know, but I kind of wanted to introduce and take ownership over the fact that I am a certified menstrual cycle coach and fertility awareness method. I guess you could call coach teacher so I can teach on natural contraception and fertility awareness. Yeah, I have done three different courses through Gemma, of Wellsome Women Podcast and of Cyclical School, and a lot of my actually most of most, all of my things that I bring to the table teachings, learnings, whatever you want to call them are from Gemma. So thank you, gemma, for all of that. But yeah, I mean certifications aside and all that blah blah blah, what I did, who I knew, like, how I did it, you know, all that kind of stuff aside, I just wanted to take a minute to check in and, yeah, I mean take ownership over that part of myself and over what I want to do and how I want to move forward. I think that that's just sort of how I am.
Speaker 1:I've noticed, I almost there comes a point for me sometimes where I have to take ownership of my choices in order to embody them, in order to yeah, to own them. And I don't know if maybe all of us need to do that. Maybe all of us need to do that. But I think so many times we are saying that we are one thing but we are doing another thing, or we're, you know, putting out there oh yeah, I, you know, I'm just really into this, I'm really into this, whatever. But then, when it comes down to it, we're not really sure. And so I feel that this is important for me to put out there. You know, not everybody needs like a declaration of like, hello, I am now this and I was that, like you know, and I'm not saying that it is necessarily like that, but, you know, taking ownership over what I'm doing and what I'm about, you know. So a word on ownership. I'm not really sure where to go here first, but I'm going to go first on the ownership piece because, as I started to think about myself and my journey and owning what I'm doing, so I've been doing this training.
Speaker 1:Let me, I guess, yeah, let me reverse all the way back as to like how this came about, why I'm interested in this, why I care about this, all that kind of stuff. So I always, I think, have cared. I've always cared and been about religion, ideas, philosophy, astrology, better ways of being. I recently found out about my sun sign being in the sixth house, which is about health and wellness and all those things, and it makes a lot of sense. So I've always cared about getting outside of self and about, yeah, like just growth, self-growth, self-knowledge, self-realization, all those types of things. Whether I had the language for it or not. I've always been into that.
Speaker 1:So I don't necessarily remember exactly where I well, I kind of do. So I remember that I was driving in my car to get a facial and I was listening to this podcast from um. It was, what was it? So it was Kate Ascuri. She was the one that was talking and she was talking to um. What is her name? Kat Harris, I think. She was like it doesn't matter anyway.
Speaker 1:And I'm driving to get a facial and I'm listening to this podcast, living my best life. And it's funny because when I had the idea to even have a podcast in the first place, I was driving along and, boom popped into my head. So I'm driving along and we and she's teaching about the four phases of the cycle and about how we need different things in each phases of our cycle and things like that, and I just remember being like dude, what? Like wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, a minute. So there's four phases of a menstrual cycle and the way that we are within those four phases of a full cycle differs, which makes complete sense as to my entire existence here as a woman. Why does everyone not know that? What?
Speaker 1:And I think that my mission, even now, is as simple as that, like even repeating that, and sometimes it does feel kind of like almost like, not invalid, but like imposter syndrome coming in where I'm like that same line from the day I discovered. It is the same reason why I am on a mission today to extend this work and to reach women and to teach them more and to use this as a compass, as the way that we are living our lives and going through our lives, you know, and our human experience as women. And so, yeah, I heard that I'm like what? So then I deep dived it and I was like, okay, um, and I got um, what is it? The 28 day, 21 something. The Alisa um VT book, Um, I started there and she is very science-based, um, but I think that was good for me to read. I remember I was reading it on the plane. I think I was going to St Augustine for the first time, actually, so that would have been 2021. Yeah, okay, so it's been 21, 2, 3, 4. I feel like I've been into it my whole life. So it's weird for me to even like think of timelines. It's the weirdest thing. But yeah, I guess, if we're going back, so 2021 and now we're in 2024.
Speaker 1:So about three years of being interested and really thinking about this work. So then I started doing yoga teacher training and that's when I started thinking to myself oh my gosh, it would be so cool if I could bring in menstrual cycle stuff, like there's gotta be some sort of like certification or class or deeper knowledge. Like I want to know everything that I could know about the menstrual cycle without having to be a doctor, basically in order to you know, I guess for myself at the time, wanting to just know everything that I could know about it because it was so interesting and I also I love learning new things. I have just recently sort of realized that I will always be learning something and for me sometimes it's hard because I don't need to make it for money, you know, like I don't always need to be learning something to then monetize it, and that's why we're learning. No, sometimes it's just learning to learn. But you know we live in a capitalistic society and blah, blah, blah, blah. So. And the menstrual cycle is different, because that to me, is like I need to spend my time, my energy, my resources, all in that. So it makes sense why that would be like a monetary exchange, but anyway.
Speaker 1:So then I started with Gemma and learning and all the other stuff. So I started that in September 2022. So all of last year, and then I just got done last year, I think was the timeline, so about a year and a half of classes and I had did practice coaching clients and all this other stuff, and so I've been in that world for about a year and a half. But really, you know, when I break it all down, like there were and are a lot of expectations on myself to share the information, I think because I acknowledge the simplicity of it and I also acknowledge the complexities of it all at the same time, and I also acknowledge that I can't be holding in this work and this knowledge that every woman needs to know, and I can lead them through it. So what does that look like? You know, it's very bold for me to say all of this, is very brave and bold of me to be sharing. Even though it doesn't seem like it, it feels like it to me, like. So, back to the ownership portion, you know.
Speaker 1:So I feel like I need to take ownership of this portion of me, of this part of me, and maybe that's wrong and maybe that's not true, but I feel stuck in stagnant. Stagnant, like I am on day 43 of my cycle right now, 43 with like nothing moving, like nothing's happening. I know why this is happening and it's because so it's because I ovulated late, because I knew that was going to happen, because I went to St Augustine and I was hanging out with my friend Caroline and we go to Billy string shows and went between, like just the change in habits and staying up late and, you know, the dancing, just all of it, and it happened right around day um 18. And that's about when I know that I'm going to ovulate and when I was projected to and yeah, it just it delayed my ovulation and I knew it was going to. But there's also a level of stagnation right now, I think, in my life and I think in my thinking and the way that I'm being and the way that, yeah, like my energy is stagnant in something and I think it's taking ownership over what I want to do and how I'm going to do it. And owning that I am the person to do it as well, and I'm sure that this can a lot of people can relate to this, and so when I think about owning my life, so I remember when I was okay.
Speaker 1:So let me back it up a little bit. This is a personal share. We're only like 10 minutes, so we've got a little bit of time and and just so you know, this is like very, um, this feels very cringy and vulnerable to share and I but I'm going to share it because I think it gives context into something, but it keeps coming up. So, all right, so a huge part of my story is that when I was, you know and timelines are so hard and I don't know if anybody else finds timelines helpful I kind of do, because it kind of helps me like orient myself into, like what was happening at the time, what it looked like. It's kind of like in a book you know when they're painting the scene of. You know what was happening around the characters, so you can really imagine that you're there. So I'm 30 now at the time I want to say and I'm also really bad at this, like my sister, I think she remembers like everything Don't even try to argue her with her about like if something did or didn't happen. If she says it happened, it totally happened, anyway, tangent.
Speaker 1:So 2018, I think sounds about right when I was 25. So that was about so 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24. Okay, so about five or six years ago, 25 years old, that sounds about right. I had. I was like teaching for Davines, I was changing my business like the way that I wanted. So I was doing hair and I had worked at heaven, a commission based like big salon, and that was cool and was awesome. And then it wasn't and I was like, oh, I want my own life. I started realizing like what I wanted and coming into my own, you know. So then, at 23, I went and started booth running in Creekside and, um, I started my own business. I started having my own business and then I got a business coach and so I was working with my coach. I was teaching for Davines. I was working really hard.
Speaker 1:I remember feeling like very disciplined and that's when I started to get into okay, well, I need some sort of like. I think my relationship with my sister probably started getting closer and she had really been living in Christianity like as a Christian, and so then I was like okay, like let me sort of explore this Christianity like bit, like how can I sort of dive into this? And so I, from about you know, I'd say like yeah, 26, 27, like that whole realm, so like 2020, during 2020, 2019, like I was very into Christian podcasts, christian influencers, christian like. I wanted to be in that realm and it felt safe. And that's how I started doing yoga. I started doing um, holy yoga, um in Strasburg and it was a great introduction all it because, again, I'd always really been into like spirituality and just what else is going on. I feel like I live in like a like the you know, you have like your upper chakras and you have your lower, so I feel like I'm like throat, third eye, crown, all the way, living life in that realm when you know it's not necessarily balanced, so anyway, so that was attractive to me and I, you know, I was really into it and I really was, um, it really did help me.
Speaker 1:Christianity to me, the podcasts and the self-study and the journaling and the praying and the hiking and the? Um thinking of myself in those contexts, you know a loving father, um, relationship with something bigger than me, um, jesus and sacrifice and and all that kind of stuff and community and people trying to do good and all of that, you know it, um, it did a lot for me and at the time, you know, I think my early twenties were a little chaotic, to say the least, and they were a little much, um, and they were a jolt on my system, um, and very, all over the place, I think, they I didn't know what the heck and who the heck I was. Um, it felt like kind of scattered pieces, um, all around. I mean, this is, you know, I'm thinking of Billy Shrink's one scattered piece, anyway, taking water in reference, anyway, taking water in reference anyway, um, so, yeah, you know, and so religion, christianity as a whole, family, all of that really grounded me back and, um, I felt really strongly about a lot of those things, um, you know, moving forward in my life and learning more about who I was and who God was, and all those types of things. And so then I started my teacher training at Shine, and anyone who's gone through a teacher training before knows that it is a life changing experience, I believe, and how and why. It's just you're with these people every other weekend for I think it's like six months and you're doing. You know you're practicing asana yoga and you're practicing. You know, being together and learning about Eastern philosophy and studying different texts and doing breathwork. You're doing all of these things over and over again. It's going to change you, you know, in some way, and for the better, you know. And so I was going through all of that and I was also very connected still to to God and everything like that and Christianity and all of that. You know, and when I think back on that time of my life, I'm so proud of myself.
Speaker 1:2020 was, um, for me, such a beautiful reset of things that I had already. It really was. It was a gift to me. Um, I spent it with my nieces, with Mavis and Heisley and my sister, and we went hiking. I spent it with another friend that I had at the time and we went hiking and we were just outside and it kind of stretched some things. But it also brought me back home to a lot of parts of myself and what was important and slow living and friendship and all of that stuff.
Speaker 1:Anyway, it doesn't matter, I don't want to like make it seem glamorous for those that you know, but anyway, just 2020 for me was a huge growth. Oh, I spent so much time with my friend Caroline outside of her house. Like, yeah, it really just grounded me and I'm really proud of myself. I'm really proud of the woman that I um became and was then and I, yeah, and I love her a lot. You know, when I think back on her, I'm like, man, she was the bomb and I, yeah, I really love her. So, um, anyway, that doesn't matter, but I just want to take a minute.
Speaker 1:So, anyway, I was thriving and when I look back on my life to see like, okay, no-transcript was in everything that I do, like that practice, the practice of showing up and the practice of breath, the practice of patience, the practice of there's all of it and it really it called to me doing yoga. I remember, like writing in journals when I was like 23, 22, you know, I want to practice yoga, like that sounds really cool. I want to go to yoga class, you know, and just being really called to it, and then that that is like a huge tool that has allowed me so much in my life. I mean, it makes me a better person. It will be a practice that I have forever. It's very sacred. I just as I'm staring at a Cardinal outside as I'm saying this, but yeah, you know it's yeah.
Speaker 1:So yoga and then also spirituality, and in my journals that I look back on because I did, like just last week I was like what helped me that I so that I can share with others, what helped me? Like what was it? Because you know it's hard sometimes to remember like who were you then, what was going on, all that stuff. And I flip through my journals and while some of it is a little cringy and you know I know a lot of people burn their journals I'm glad I didn't in this situation because I see things that I wanted that happened I see processing through my mind that needed to be down on paper and I'm proud of myself for doing that and I also see a lot of praying and a lot of working things out with God and a lot of like. You know, I feel like this I need your help with this. Please be with so-and-so, um, you know, and also like writing down scripture and all of that stuff.
Speaker 1:And so for me, from like 25 to 28, you know, with through the Christian lens, um, of spirituality, like it really did impact and help my life, and spirituality has always been huge to me, I think, uh, whether subtle, whether close, whether outward, whether inward, so yeah, so anyway, with all of that in mind, um, so I'm doing my yoga teacher training, I'm living my life, and then I meet Billy, my partner and I. I had an on and get off again boyfriend for a long time, um, but other than that, I was a very, I had been a very, it was very chill girly. I wasn't doing very much, like, I wasn't dating a bunch of people, and Billy came into my life in December, so we met on Tinder. I feel so, I feel so strange talking about all of this because, yeah, I mean, Billy and I we love each other a lot, we're very in love with each other, but I also feel like we aren't that like outward about all of our inner workings with each other or out loud, anyway. So, okay, so I met Billy in December and I was obsessed and I remember my clients like I would be like, so I think I'm in love, I'm obsessed Tinder and he is and was the best. He is the best. I, um yeah, I love him so much.
Speaker 1:Um, and if you've met Billy, you know, if you haven't met Bill, met Billy, um he, you know, if you haven't met Billy, um he, his smile is just the sweetest, best thing you'll ever see and he's always smiling because he's always joking, because he's always witty and putting a spin on something. He's just so charismatic, so charming, so cute, so nice. I mean I could just go on and on, but he really is just the best. You know he, he, when I met him, you know he's attractive and he's kind and he's not giving me any red flags at all. Like, nothing about him is red flagging me at all. You know he's a couple of years older than me. He's always lived in this town Like he.
Speaker 1:We kind of know some of the same people. We're into the same things, like my, you know, sister met him. My best friend met him and everybody's like wow, like we love him. He's great. You know cause he is and you know he was and he is and he was and is the guy for me. So really, like, all joking aside, like I meet this person, I meet Billy, and Billy is he's meant for me, he is meant for me now, whether that's forever or whether that's for as long as we can be together.
Speaker 1:I'm not having sex again until I get married. So I was putting this all in like this sort of um, this Christian girl box, because I really was taking that part seriously. Like I was like okay, if, if you're going to be married and I'm obeying this, these commandments, I can't really, how can I go around the fact that if I'm taking the Bible literally, that I mean there's no way that I can turn this really and trust me, guys, I was trying there's no way that I can twist this whole like not this whole having sex before marriage thing, because if I'm trying to live this like to exactly what it's saying and integrity, this is what it's saying and I'm saying that this is my sort of compass to the way that I'm living my life. So therefore, I can't be having sex with anybody until I'm getting married, you know. So Billy and I, we are, you know, having a great time dating and I'm like, look, you know, I kind of have this thing. I'm really scared to tell you, but I have to tell you and this is what it is, and so I tell him this whole like I'm not actually, you know, I'm 27 and I'm actually not going to be having sex until I'm married.
Speaker 1:Okay, and just side note, I think this was like our seventh date. Seventh date, it doesn't matter, but, needless to say, billy is not assertive. So, like he, I had to ask him hey, you know, would you maybe want to like make out or something, because it had been like I'm not kidding like if this announcement that I was giving him was date, let's say, 12, we were probably on date like seven to eight before we had even like made out. Okay, so that part, he was chilling and he's also never going to say anything first. So his personality, he's not going to be like hey, I have a problem with you, this is what I think. Or like, hey, you know, it's not really I don't know how to.
Speaker 1:He's a Libra, he's very keep the peace. He's not very like assertive. He's a nine on the Enneagram, so he's like very withdrawn, he's he's not going to go in for things. So I was basically like you know, I'm really scared to tell you this, but yeah, I'm actually not going to have sex until I'm married. And he was like, okay, you know, that's, that's cool.
Speaker 1:And he left and so I'm thinking in my head, oh my God, you know, cause he was about to leave anyway my house. So the whole next day I'm like, oh my gosh, like we're never going to see each other again. He probably thinks I'm such a freak and I'm freaking out because like, mind you, I'm obsessed with him, like I think that he is the best thing ever and I don't want us to not talk, like I'm so sad, like, but I had to tell him because it's a part of my like, it's a boundary in my life, and like, oh my God. So the next day I remember I'm rotting in my bed after yoga teacher training at like two o'clock in the afternoon and I get a text from him and it says um I, what did he say Something about? I don't remember exactly what it says, but I remember he said and I respect your boundary. Like basically, he was saying it's cool, I don't care. So I'm like ding, ding, ding, let's go. Okay, let's keep dating.
Speaker 1:So we keep dating, we keep dating, we keep dating. Well, you know, I don't know if you know what it's like to be dating someone new, that you like a lot and that you are learning to trust and you're feeling all the good feelings, and it's been like four, yeah, about three and a half, four months. You know, you just went to a Billy Strings concert, had a really good weekend with your friend, you're out in the sun, you're having a good time. I don't know if you know what it's like to be dating someone new, but I'm going to imagine that you do, and you want to have sex with them. Hello, like, why wouldn't you? You know?
Speaker 1:So I was having a conflict, okay, because here is this religion, this thing that I am like trying to adhere to, and then also, here is this man who's come out of nowhere, who is everything that I could be looking for. He's honest, he's good looking, he's funny, he's I can tell he has integrity. Like no red flags. We get along so well as far as I'm concerned. This person is my person. This is insane, you know.
Speaker 1:So you have, on one end, this religion and then you also have this person who, I mean literally feels like God put into my life. So I was just sitting around for weeks just feeling like what am I going to do, you know, because also, what I'm not going to tell this man, like, okay, so you have to. He's not of the same faith as I am. He's not coming from that standpoint, he's coming from, you know, if you were to ask him where he's coming from, he's coming from the most important, which is coming from love always, and using love as his compass as he navigates through the world is what you know. He was, he is, is and was doing. He was being and is exactly or pretty close to, honestly, the way that Jesus is and was and the ways that Christians are taught to be. That is how Billy is and was.
Speaker 1:And so I'm like thinking, I'm like, why would I? Because in Christianity and in churches, a lot of times they'll say you know, give up your temptation to be with this person, you know, for God. Or like, oh well, if they're not of Christ, you know you guys can't be together because you're not both Christians and you don't have the same, you're not on the same playing field and if you're not within that same structure, then you're going to have a terrible marriage and like you just shouldn't be, yeah, you shouldn't be together and like as a girl. That is like if I, lauren, was trying to, you know, be a good Christian girly, then what I would probably do would be like you know what, you're just not a Christian like me. So you gotta, we have to break up, and then I would be doing some. Then, hopefully, my dream husband would come along who was a Christian just like me, and it would have all made a lot of sense. So I had that option that I could have done, you know.
Speaker 1:Or the second option is like looking at this human being and being like look, I, lauren, am in a very healthy place in my life. I have been following God, I have been working on loving more people. From my point of view, I'm doing the best I can, and this person who seemingly would help me continue to do the best I can in the world and seems to be a gift to me, is right here in front of me and they are showing me everything that I say, I believe in. So just because I so something's not right here. You know, like to me it was like something isn't right, so I had to.
Speaker 1:I was just going back and forth with what am I gonna do? Like, what am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? And I remember I was at my friend, caroline's house and you know we had taken some mushrooms and we were gonna have a nice like mushroom day in the yard and I just kept crying and crying and crying and I just kept coming back to ownership and owning my choices and my heart and my who I am and who God wants me to be and who I'm was supposed to be.
Speaker 1:And that's not a person who says, look, dude, you aren't this on paper, you're not claiming to be this on paper within these guidelines, within this framework. So therefore, you have to go. And now I get to be on my high. I get to be now miserable because I'm actually not being in alignment with the things that are coming towards me. I'm not embodying or living my actual truth or faith. I'm embodying and living a structure that was not necessarily made for me, or that I don't adhere to or that I need more from, or that can grow and change and and you know it's so hard when you come from those Christian spaces because it sounds like you're you're bending it to your will instead of his will, or that I'm trying to make this about me and what I want selfishly, and then I'm trying to like whatever.
Speaker 1:But really it was that's like the opposite, because if I was trying to bend things to my like, then I would be in a I don't know. I don't know, I'm just going to. It could go into a whole tangent that I don't want to go into, but I had to go based off of what was right in front of me, which was this man who loves me and who I love and who were not doing any harm to each other. And also, I will say too, I had, um, really gone down this whole rabbit hole of sexuality and spirituality and what's right and what's wrong, you know, in terms of like homosexuality and all of that, because it plainly states in the Bible, you know about that that is not the vibe. You know homosexuality is not the vibe, and so I didn't agree or like that, you know.
Speaker 1:So I'm trying to, I'm, and if I'm saying that I'm this which is working for me, remember, I'm journaling and praying and it's working for me, christianity is making me feel good. But then there's these texts in here and these ways of thinking here that are saying that, you know, homosexuality is wrong and that sex before marriage is wrong, and all of this stuff is wrong, and it that doesn't feel true to me, to Lauren, to my spirit, to who, what I, it just doesn't feel right. And I could ignore my feelings and dive deeper into logic and into structure and into the Bible and what it says, but it just didn't feel right to me and I can't live my life like that. And there are people, I'm sure, and that do live their life like that and that's fine. But, and I remember listening to a lot of podcasts, like I listened to Brenda Davies Um, she had a podcast called God is gray.
Speaker 1:Um, it was huge inspiration and I just remember her being like you know something about like causing harm, which is so funny, like all this is coming up to me now that I'm talking about it, but it was about how, like, sin causes harm, which is funny because now that I'm in yoga, ahimsa is nonviolence, and so doing everything out of non-harm, nonviolence, which is love, is really all that matters, and so Billy and I were. This is just as an example at this point, billy and I Billy and I were non-harming each other. We were in harmony with each other, we were in integrity and truth and we were not harming each other. So I couldn't find the sin in that equation for me and I also didn't know how I could continue to say that I am a Christian that goes to a Christian church that believes in these things. That really, like you know, without it being phony to me or not true to me, and you know, maybe I could have gone down and I know this is just a disclaimer because I now I didn't mean to even go down this tangent. I'm literally only speaking for experience and I have the most respect for Christians that live their life from a place of love and a place of who Jesus was and are Christ followers, which is a Christian, christ followers, which is a Christian. So I, a thousand percent, um, I just want that disclaimer of I respect love and see and have you know, people who are, identify themselves as Christians and who maybe even believe in you know, so anyway.
Speaker 1:So my friend Caroline and I had, and I'm crying and I'm crying and I'm realizing that it's time for me to take some ownership over my decisions, and that ownership looked like, you know, being like all right, yeah, this doesn't feel right for me, this doesn't work for me, I'm no longer going to, you know, say that, that that I'm about that anymore, and I'm allowed to pivot and change and I'm allowed to say, okay, you know, I'm not necessarily not that I'm not a Christian anymore, but yeah, I don't. I'm going to kind of put that one on the side because it doesn't really feel aligned and that's really hard, especially especially when you believe that then you have a chance of going to hell. You know, and that was a whole other thing that I unpacked, and the hell thing was another thing that made no sense to me, that I couldn't. Yeah, I just and I think that that's the thing is you grow and evolve in your faith, in your practices, in whatever it is. Things can evolve and change and you can come to a place of acceptance with God on them, you know.
Speaker 1:So how does any of this have anything to do with the menstrual cycle? Well, it kind of doesn't, but it kind of doesn't, but yet it kind of does. I mean, it's basically me saying that because, you know, once I own my choices and once I said, okay, yeah, no, I I'm going to have sex, I'm going to be with this person and we're going to have a life together and I'm going to continue to serve and, you know, you know, follow heavenly God and mother and spirit and all of the things, and spirituality is still a part of me. I've actually never been more in tune, but it's going to look different and I'm open to new possibilities and I'm open to the unfolding of who I really am and what my gifts really are and how I can truly be in harmony and what that really looks like for me. You know, I laid the foundation.
Speaker 1:Christianity laid an amazing foundation for me and it gave me the idea of mystery, of the fact that we don't know it all and that there is mystery in some things. Although the church that I went to and the way that I was raised was not what was saying about mystery, they were saying black and white, which I think is where we get in trouble, which I think is where all this stemmed from. But sorry, that was a side tangent, but for me, I got the idea of mystery, the idea of having faith in something bigger For me. I got, you know, the idea of mystery, the idea of having faith in something bigger, the idea of practices, of showing up, of, yeah, of all those things, so, yeah, so then I started to dive into knowledge of myself, and a theme that I didn't realize was happening or that was even going to happen it was very unintentional, but it also comes back to like, of course, you know, is this thing of coming back to yourself and I and we I I say it a lot, I mean pretty much everybody on my podcast, I feel like at some point or another within the podcast, talks about this this whole thing of coming home to yourself, um, coming back to yourself, finding out, you know, you know Suzanne Stabile, who taught a lot about the Enneagram.
Speaker 1:She taught a lot about how you know your personality is not you like. That is just the way that the thing that the mask that you have put on to get on in the world, your personality, is not you. Your soul, you know what's underneath is really. You know who you are and what you want and how you access all of these things that we want within ourselves. And so how do we access those things within ourselves. How do we come back to self? You know what does that look like over and over again, you know, and I think that tons of these podcast episodes have provided different stories of how people have done that and I'm so honored to hear them and blown away every time I do of this thing of you know, I was out in the world, I was living life, I was stressed, I was, you know, not myself.
Speaker 1:And then, you know, with time, with courage, I came back, you know, and now I try to live from that place. But how do we even get there in the first place? Yeah, how does that happen? And what happens when we're not living from that place? I think a lot happens when we're not living from that place. A lot of not good things happen when we're not living from a place of our true selves, you know, and so I, I have lived a lot.
Speaker 1:I talk about this in my last little episode and I think that this comes up for a lot of women and people in general. You know I have lived a lot of my life trying to consciously and unconsciously fix others, and it's such a thing. Even saying it, I'm like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We all know you cannot fix anyone. But yet we all live and have different experiences where we can see ourselves trying to fix other people and seeing the potential, seeing where they could be trying to stop their suffering. And for me, I'm realizing now that a lot of times I'm trying to stop their suffering so that I stop my own suffering, meaning like because they're suffering it's causing me to suffer and I want that to stop for myself. So I'm trying to make it stop for them, you know, but I'm acting like it's for for them, but maybe it's for me a little bit.
Speaker 1:But a lot of times, you know, when we're empathetic people, we feel other people's stuff that they have going on, and it's really hard to come from a place of love and to really trust that everybody is on their own journey. Everybody knows what's best for themselves, period. I don't know what's best for anyone else. Only you know what's best for you. And how can you? How can you know what's best for you? You know how can we do that.
Speaker 1:So that's where the menstrual cycle can come into play. Now, I know that sounds like you know that might be like what, um? But yeah, that's where the menstrual cycle comes into play, because it comes into play of like a daily check-in with yourself and I. I talked about I, I, yeah, and I didn't even really mean to do it, but I talked about how Billy uses love as his compass, which, if he heard me say that he would be like dude, you're an idiot, what are you talking about? But no, I, from my perspective, you know, and then I was using Christianity as a compass to go through my life, and now I feel that I use the menstrual cycle. I know that my compass is the menstrual cycle, and one of my spiritual practices is the menstrual cycle is being in tune with my cycle, with myself, with my body, and being able to move through life with my menstrual cycle as my guide, through life with my menstrual cycle as my guide. And so that's what I want to do with other women. I want to be support as we go through life using the have the same cycle every day. So they're they're on a daily cycle, whereas we, as women, are on a 28 day cycle.
Speaker 1:We don't live as close, close to nature as we did, however, many years ago, as we once did, and so 28 day cycle is the lunar cycle. It's the amount of time as the lunar cycle, and because we aren't living as close to nature, meaning we're living in cities, we're living in apartment buildings, we're living in, we're not living in the cycle of nature, so we're not waking up with the sun and going to sleep with the sun, we're not using the light of the sun and the moon, you know, at different times in order to get things done, all of those things. So now we're not living as close to nature, and so the 28 day cycle is a little bit extended now. Now it's a 26 to 35 day cycle, because our lives are different, but nevertheless, we are living in a different cycle than what the world that we are in expects us to be in, and every woman has some sort of example of how this shows up in their life, whether it's the teenage girl who still has to perform in sports even though they're on day one of their period. It's feeling really low or not wanting to be near other people in your luteal phase, but yet you still have to people and still be around other people in your life. And even if you don't have a period, even if you don't experience a bleed, you're still a cyclical being. So, because you are a woman, you are cyclical, so you live your life with the moon cycles. Because think about how I mean, just think about that right there 28 days is the average length of a menstrual cycle, which is the same length as the moon cycle. You know, we've always heard 28 days, 28 days. Day 14 is the day of ovulation. Everyone's always heard that. Well, it's normally the day of the full moon. So even if you don't have a period, you still can track your cycle and you still access that flow with the moon. So you track with the moon.
Speaker 1:And so how do we cycle track? Cycle tracking is done pen to paper. That's the best way to do it. It's the way that I was taught to do it. It's the way that makes the most impact. It's the way that we can own what's going on in our lives and in our bodies, write them down. A lot of times, apps are great and fine, but they are not going to like you personally are going to have to go in and change, like the day that you actually had your period, and are you really going to put in there the little notes? Maybe that works for you and that's the best and that feels good, but in my experience and the way that I was taught to do it, the best way to do it is pen to paper, because then that way you're sitting and it's the same kind of thing as like journaling. You know when you need to like brain dump, or when you're putting that energetic pen to paper, getting it out of your system to write down whatever you need to write down. So what is there to cycle track? There's all everything you could imagine to cycle track.
Speaker 1:If we're going to write down our physical for the day, we can write down what you ate today, how you moved your body today, how your body felt. Did you have any ailments? Did you have a headache? How your body felt. Did you have any ailments? Did you have a headache? Did your low back feel kind of weird? You can write about how you felt about your physical today. Did you feel hot? Did you feel meh? Then you have your emotional. So how did you feel? Did you feel kind of meh? And then your day got better. Did you feel empowered and happy? And so you had a really good day. Did your friend annoy you? And that keeps happening. So you need to write that down so that you can see when it comes up in your cycle.
Speaker 1:Then there's spiritual. So did you maybe do any like spiritual practices in your day? Then there's nutritional, so did you take your supplements? What supplements did you take, you know? And then the physical. Also, we could talk about your cervical mucus. There's tracking sex Did you have sex, you know? Tracking all kinds of stuff that we can put on our cycle trackers. And then, that way, I mean and as my teacher Gemma says, anything that you would bitch to your best friend about. And so cycle tracking is what allows us to see the patterns within our cycle and it allows us to be able to identify things that are going on in our lives, like and yeah, and then just noticing different ways that we can begin to live our best lives. If you will Like, what I do is I plan my whole life around my menstrual cycle.
Speaker 1:Right now it's kind of hard because, like I said, I'm on day 42. So I feel like my cycle is all messed up right now. To be honest, it doesn't really feel that great. I feel like my cycle is all messed up right now. To be honest, it doesn't really feel that great. I feel ungrounded. I know what types of support that I need to reach for and ask for and I know what to do. So I know that I can always set up acupuncture around this time.
Speaker 1:If this happens again, I think it'll be a one-off, but it could be. If I noticed that it's long cycles, for three cycles, um, then that would be when it's time to to get more support. So I have an appointment with a naturopath in about two weeks, um, just for some basic, like I'm going to do a Dutch test, some blood work, things like that, just so that I can stay on top of my health and having my cycle knowledge of, like look, I'm on day 42. Let's say this does happen for three cycles in a row. That's telling me that something's not right. Like, why is it taking forever for me to ovulate? Am I having you know, like what's going on with that? And figuring out different practices that I can put into place? You know, and getting support with that?
Speaker 1:Because, as we all know, it starts to get a little bit like it's a little bit tricky when it comes to things of our health, I think, because there's so many different rabbit holes that we can go down. There's so much stuff that we don't control or we can't control. Um, there's so many different ways that we can help ourselves. So it's like do I go to acupuncture? Do I get a massage? Do I do womb work with somebody? Do I, um, just take an extra yin class? Do I go to the chiropractor? Do I like? These are just like random things and places and people that could possibly maybe help in some way. Is it nutritional? Do I need to go to a nutritionist? Do I need to work out more? Do I not need to work out at all? Like, what is it that I need in order to be my best self? Um, physically, in a lot of ways can be really really challenging to navigate by yourself.
Speaker 1:Um, and there's so many practices that we can weave into whatever into our cycle that can make it a more pleasant cycle, that can make it enjoyable even, you know, because we're really what we're trying to do is we're trying to go from a place of ew. I hate this. This is annoying. It's just like a random part of me that I just want to ignore and shut down to a place of wow, my menstrual cycle allows me to live my life with more ease and, like it allows me to go through things and check in with myself, and I'm grateful that I have it so that I can let things go and move on in my life, or so that I can remember that I need to nourish myself, or so that I can have great sex when I need to have great sex in my life, you know, because it's a part of being alive and it feels good, and I want that to be a part of my human experience, you know. And?
Speaker 1:And just being able to use the menstrual cycle I know I keep saying this, but as the compass that guides your life, I think is huge. I think it allows us to give ourselves way more grace. I think it allows life to be way easier, and, um, I think it just makes sense and it connects us back into our feminine energy and our feminine selves. Um, and so many of us want that. You know we're living in such a, you know, crazy detached I mean, the list can go on and on of the way the world that we live in and how especially, though, that it's really set up to help men. You know, and we know that in a thousand ways. As you're a woman, you've experienced it. I don't need to go into it, but our world is set up for men and we are just now, as women, coming back into our power of having a period and owning our bodies and owning our cycles and owning who we are. And, um, I'm here for it. And it starts with the menstrual cycle. It starts with our womb, it starts with the stories that we've told ourselves about our bodies. It starts with the stories that we've told ourselves about ourselves and about our reproductive system. No-transcript.
Speaker 1:As society, I think we reject the idea as well of growing and evolving and know, like, think about how aging of women, especially right now in our culture, is so just like it's such a icky thing, it's such a feared thing, it's such a scary thing. And you know I'm 30 right now, so all I can speak from is where I've seen other women and you know I'll tell you, like doing hair and being in that world, of the way that we look, um, and you know, having older clients. You know, think about how we're terrified of gray, we're terrified of fine lines, we're terrified of menopause, we're terrified of, you know, of change, and I understand why. I absolutely understand. But what would it look like if we embraced the darker sides of of life, the scarier sides of life. If we looked at them, we embrace them, we see them as what they are, we feel them for what they are and we allow them to be let go. That happens even in our menstrual cycle. We know this time is coming, we know our our period is coming and we want to avoid it. We want to oh my gosh, I don't want to deal with it. And so we don't, you know. And then we keep going and going and going and going and eventually things get stuck. Because if you think about the spiritual practice of menstruation which it is a spiritual practice there's a practice of every time that the bleed comes releasing something, you know allowing something to move through, whether it's a challenge that happened that last cycle, you know allowing something to move through, whether it's a challenge that happened that last cycle, you know, or a way of being or a way of thinking or a way of you know moving in the world that is no longer serving you that you can truly physically let go with that intention and move on to the new cycle, when the you know, when the sky's clear and we're feeling hot again, and when you're in our follicular phase and we're ready to to be in the new project when the you know, when the sky's clear and we're feeling hot again, and when you're in our follicular phase and we're ready to to be in the new project and being the new cycle and and start again. You know, and we have.
Speaker 1:We do that with our emotions too. We only want the happy emotions. We only and I trust me, I'm a seven on the Enneagram I have been trying to avoid suffering to this day. It will never not be my thing. I always want to avoid suffering. I want to avoid the harder emotions, I want to avoid the harder things. I want to fix the thing so that we can move on and that we can be happy and we can be doing good. You know, I'll even take mundane, you know, but I don't want super, super, super, like gut-wrenching stuff in my world. And who does you know? I mean four is on the Enneagram, but regardless, no, nobody. And so what we do is we don't want to, we're afraid to feel our emotions fully. So instead we do something else, whether we mask with fun, with friends, with drinking, with over-exercising, with food, with cigarettes, with projects, with anything that can, with ideas, anything that can fill the void of having to feel the deeper feeling, with having to go there, with having to face what's in front of us and embrace it and allow it and to do whatever is next with it, you know, to alchemize it into whatever else it can become.
Speaker 1:And and also sitting with this stuff for the amount of time that it may take, you know, because, right like, for instance, right now, I'm on day 42, not loving it. Okay, it's been feeling like this for like a week and a half. I feel stagnant, my life feels stuck, and so then I asked myself well, what else is stuck, what's going on? And it's not always, of course, like something energetic, but a lot of times it is like there's something within me that's doing that and it doesn't feel good to be sitting in it. And it's been two weeks, you know, or a week and a half, or whatever.
Speaker 1:And allowing time to do its thing and knowing that it won't be forever and able to move on to the next thing when it's time, and trusting the process of the universe. And trust, trusting that I have my guides, my, my spirit guides, my angels, god, looking over me, because I don't have any control over the stuff that comes into my world and nobody does, you know. And so what do we do when that arises? Well, we sit with it sometimes and we do the things that we know to do to cope with the things that don't feel great, you know. So for me, you know, it's showing up at yoga even when I don't want to, and taking child's pose when I need to.
Speaker 1:If it's a day where I'm like, oh my God, I just like don't even want to be here, but like I'm going to go, cause I know it's going to make you feel better, it's getting in my car and going on a drive and listening to music and crying and feeling weird, or okay, I'm going to go for, you know, a 10 minute walk and I might even cry the whole time that I'm there. Like for me, crying, if I'm at a point where it's bubbling up so much that I have got to cry, like got to get it out, like, think about how it's so strange that we apologize for crying. Like we'll say I'm sorry, I don't want to cry. Or like, oh God, like, or or or.
Speaker 1:My favorite is when we look at somebody, say, oh, don't cry. Why would we tell somebody not to feel their emotions? Like we have to let it move through us in order to be healthy and functioning, happy human beings. And we need safe spaces to be heard and we need to be able to. Yeah, so, anyway, sorry that was a little tangent, but yeah, to come, to come back. So, yeah, yoga on a walk, crying, crying in my car.
Speaker 1:You know, even if it's not crying, you know what do we do in those moments where our emotion is getting the best of us and either we want to run from it or we want to fully indulge in it. You know we want to fully be in it, to the point where we become disillusioned. You know, I'm still learning. I don't know all the answers, and that's a huge part of my own journey is figuring out. What do we do at the moments where, like, how do we honor our emotions fully? And I actually just got this book called Emotional Intimacy. It was recommended and I think I'm going to go Emotional Intimacy. It was recommended and I think I'm going to go a little bit deeper in that.
Speaker 1:But again, what does any of this have to do with the menstrual cycle? Like, why are we talking about? Because, when we think about the menstrual cycle and I think that this is something that has held me back. We think of these little themes, like I think of pads and tampons and red, and it being this little period of time where you feel bloated and you feel kind of weird, and we think about okay, well, like how, what do we need to eat then? Okay, well, it's our body, so obviously we should. That's our first thought. It's like, okay, so what should we be eating for our menstrual cycle? Well, yeah, we should be eating different foods at different phases of our menstrual cycle.
Speaker 1:So day one, which is a day of bleed, until about day, you know, whenever you're done bleeding, when we're in our menstruation, that's when we're in our menstruation, that's when we're going to have our warming stuff, so our red meats and our bone broths and our lighter sort of warmer things curry, stews, things like that. Then we move on into our follicular phase and we're, we're out, we're in spring, we're awake. Here we are, we're, we're coming back, you know, so that we can start reintroduce, introducing some lighter foods, some some salads again, some fresh fruits, some salmon, different things, like in that realm, and then we ovulate, so we're at the peak, you know, so we're able to eat. Like again, you were thinking about this. All of this like summer, like um, seasonal, so menstrual cycle is winter, and then we move into our follicular phase, which is like our spring, and so if we think about the foods that we're eating in the springtime, those would be the foods that we eat in our follicular phase, and then we think about foods that we eat in summertime. Those are our foods in our ovulation. You know, we can go out to dinner and our metabolism is like a little bit higher. We're not as like slow in that realm. You know, things are moving, things are feeling good, and then we get into our luteal phase, which becomes our fall, which becomes our complex carbs, which becomes our, you know, our more warming foods once again. So really making that transition from colder foods to hotter, but of course never completely cold. We, you know, we want to also be in the?
Speaker 1:Um, the realm of what's good for um, ayurveda and things like that, um, those practices meshed with the practices of knowing our menstruation and it really I don't know if you can start to see this, but everything layers on top of each other, because everything has cycles, everything the cycle of the seasons, the cycles of the day, the cycles of the moon, the cycles of our menstrual cycle, the cycles of astrology, the cycles of the rites of passage of being a woman, all of these things are cycles within cycles, within cycles. So we have to be able to cycle through and to acknowledge them in order to have them be prominent in our lives. And so what we think of, back to what we think of for the menstrual cycle, you know, we think of like these little things that sort of society has given us about the menstrual cycle. You know, I think about like health class vibes, and there's an egg and there's an ovary and there's a, you know, fallopian tube, and there's this stuff inside us and it's going to bloat, and then we're going to bleed and then, you know, got to be careful because we don't want to get pregnant, like just these sort of like snippets of it. And then we start thinking, oh, menstrual cycle, okay, so we have our physical body, so what type of food should we be eating, what, which we just talked about? And then you know, how should we move our body, you know, with our cycle? Of course that's important. But what about the emotional parts of our cycles? What about, like I said, I have been, I'm pretty much throat, third eye and crown chakra girl. So basically meaning I'm always interested in the emotional and the spiritual sides of it, and Jane Hardwick Collings, which is my teacher's teacher, wrote a book called the spiritual practice of menstruation blood rights, the spiritual practice of menstruation which connected so much for me and continues to connect so much for me, because there's so much more to the menstrual cycle than just the physical stuff, just like there's so much more to our lives and our beings as humans than just the physical, just the.
Speaker 1:You know the stuff we do for work and the money that we make and the people that we know and the stuff that we have and the positions. You know the way that our bodies look and the money that we make and the people that we know and the stuff that we have and the positions. You know the way that our bodies look and the way that we're here and the way we're there. Like there's so much more to the menstrual cycle than just the physical portion of. I bleed, I get a pad, I get a tampon. You know it's kind of annoying, I feel this way. That's just the start. It's just like with yoga, you know.
Speaker 1:We start with the asana, we start with the movement, but then comes on. You know the meditation and the breath and the limb and the way of being and all of those types of things, and so I guess I'm owning the fact that, as women, we need to know how to connect to all of those things of ourselves. And how do we connect to all of those things and how do we, as women, move through this life with as much ease and as much growth and as vibrant as we can, with as much vitality as we can on earth, in a world that we're living in, that was never set up for us to be living in, to be nurtured in? We can control parts of our experience much more than we think we can, and so what does that look like and how do we do it? How do what does that look like and how do we do it? How do we continue to do it and how do we teach our daughters to do it? How do we teach all the girls that we know, how do we make that the basis of being a woman, which is that you have a menstrual cycle.
Speaker 1:It is your superpower. Congratulations when you get it. You know they get that from Menarche. Wow, you got your period. Welcome. Like how?
Speaker 1:How many of us would that have changed the narrative and the stories that we've told ourselves? Because from Jump Street, if from Menarche, we hear ugh, it sucks for that. No welcome, it's going to be horrible. Here here's a pad. Oh you poor thing, let's get you this versus wow, oh my gosh, really, hug. Welcome to you know, welcome to being a woman. How are you feeling? These are some things that you know. Here are some things that I have for you.
Speaker 1:You know, which could be a red towel for a new young menstruator we could be giving, you know, some period undies or pad as well, or maybe like special sheets that we could put on at the time, like whatever, you know, little perfumes or whatever would make them feel supported. Maybe some flowers like to give to new menstruators, so that it's a good thing, it's a happy thing, it's, it's a a part of their experience that is welcomed. You know, how different would we be if that was our experience and how much does that shape our lives of being a woman and what we think about ourselves and what we think about our bodies. And then, if we're never connected to our menstrual cycle and then all of a sudden, we're thrown into becoming a mother and birth and all of that that comes with that which is a whole other thing, but also a part of it how disconnected we could be feeling from that and how that plays out. And then in menopause it plays out, you know, we're still not connected and it still is this thing that we're like, oh God, this is so horrible, just like it was in menarche.
Speaker 1:If that is the theme that we continue to tell ourselves as we go through life without this cycle knowledge, without the cycle love, without knowing that your menstrual cycle is your superpower, it's there to support you through life, it's a part of being a woman and we can kind of hack the system, if you will. You know like, yeah, this isn't a world that, you know, necessarily supports this stuff about us, but we support it. We like this about ourselves, we feel positively about this. We are going to teach our daughters how to be able to live in harmony with their bodies and with their cycles. It's huge.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, so that's me owning that, you know, and every time I get to this point with it and I think it's a little bit of society sometimes too, of like, I have some of those old stories attached to it, like who cares about the menstrual cycle, who really needs this work, and it's like we all need this work. You know, and I'm honored to share it and I don't know what uh, I don't want anything to hold me back from sharing it, and I own the fact that it's needed and that activating women in our world is what I'm about. Activating women in our world is what I'm about. It's what I'm about, and I'm so happy that I get to do it and I'm so happy that you're listening and I. This is just the start of this journey and I don't know where it's going to lead. You know, and I am hoping I'm going to learn so much from the other women that I get to support. I know that for a fact. So thank you for listening. Thank you you.